A Song That Makes Me Fall Asleep | Yoooooooooooooooo

I remember when I used to sleep.

I learned the trick of falling asleep to this song from an ex-girlfriend. Any time it came on, while I was listening intently, she’d fall asleep.

I asked her about it. She said something to the effect that I should just hear it. Like most things in my life, I’d been making it harder than it had to be.

I’ve had long, restful nights with this song as my soundtrack. I used to have my music playing constantly on random; my parents, and later my roommates, hated that. Sometimes, though, I just needed to hear the right thing, and often, at night, after I’d learned its secrets, this song was the right thing.

Contrast that to now, when I don’t listen to any music at all when I sleep. Which is more or less always. And lately, I don’t sleep. I wonder if these things are related?

I’ve never been much of a sleeper, but recently, it’s gotten out of hand. Four hours is a long night for me now; I’ll go a week or two or three on two to four hours of sleep per night until my body just can’t take it any more and I’ll sleep for ten or twelve or fourteen hours at a stretch.

I’m at a point now where I tell people “I don’t really do that any more” when they ask me if I’ve slept, and I’m not really exaggerating. I don’t think that’s healthy.

I am resistant to pills or other sedatives to help me sleep. I have a sneaking suspicion that if I were to use them with success, a habit would not be long in forming.

So that leaves me with something else, something I hadn’t thought of in years before it came time to think about this, the idea of music as a sedative. Noise to drown out that in my head. A slow cold song to wash over me so I can wrap myself up and escape.

I’m romanticizing sleep now. That might be a sign of something. I wish I knew what.

Maybe it’s time for me to put on “Svefn-g-englar”.